The Science Behind Our Relationship Quiz

The Research Foundation

Our "Is My Boyfriend a Narcissist?" quiz is informed by decades of research on narcissism in romantic relationships, drawing from the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) literature.

What Research Shows About Narcissistic Partners

Studies have identified common patterns in relationships with narcissistic individuals:

• Love Bombing — Intense affection early in relationships that fades over time
• Lack of Empathy — Difficulty understanding or validating partner's feelings
• Need for Admiration — Constant need for attention and validation
• Entitlement — Expectation of special treatment without reciprocity
• Manipulation — Using guilt, gaslighting, or triangulation
• Intermittent Reinforcement — Alternating between affection and coldness

Observational vs. Self-Report

Unlike self-report measures (where the person assesses themselves), this quiz asks about observed behaviors in a partner—a different but valid approach to identifying narcissistic patterns.

Research on Narcissism in Relationships

Extensive research has examined how narcissism affects romantic relationships:

• Initial Attraction: Narcissists often make strong first impressions but have lower relationship satisfaction over time
• Game-Playing: Higher narcissism correlates with manipulative love styles
• Commitment Issues: Narcissistic individuals tend to have lower commitment and more alternatives
• Partner Wellbeing: Partners of narcissists report lower relationship satisfaction and higher psychological distress

Academic Citations

1. Campbell, W. K., & Miller, J. D. (Eds.). (2011). The handbook of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder: Theoretical approaches, empirical findings, and treatments. John Wiley & Sons.
2. Campbell, W. K., Foster, C. A., & Finkel, E. J. (2002). Does self-love lead to love for others? A story of narcissistic game playing. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(2), 340-354. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.83.2.340
3. Lavner, J. A., Lamkin, J., Miller, J. D., Campbell, W. K., & Karney, B. R. (2016). Narcissism and newlywed marriage: Partner characteristics and marital trajectories. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 7(2), 169-179. https://doi.org/10.1037/per0000137
4. Day, N. J., Townsend, M. L., & Grenyer, B. F. (2020). Living with pathological narcissism: A qualitative study. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation, 7(1), 19. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-020-00132-8
5. Wurst, S. N., Gerlach, T. M., Dufner, M., Rauthmann, J. F., Grosz, M. P., Schupp, J., ... & Back, M. D. (2017). Narcissism and romantic relationships: The differential impact of narcissistic admiration and rivalry. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 112(2), 280-306. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000113

Important Limitations

This quiz has significant limitations to consider:

• Observation Bias: You're assessing someone else, not yourself—relationship conflict can affect perception
• Not Diagnostic: Cannot diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder in another person
• Context Matters: Individual behaviors may have explanations beyond narcissism
• Relationship Dynamics: Unhealthy patterns can exist in both partners

If you're in a relationship that feels harmful, the specific label matters less than your safety and wellbeing.